Shadowmoor Release Event by Robert Swarowski

I attended the Shadowmoor Prerelease event a few weeks ago, donked it by going 2-2 and left. It made me feel sick that I wasn’t able to win some new packs, that and I got beat down by a guy who looks like a fish and a woman. I heard that the release event was going to be held in 2 different locations at the same time…6:00 PM Friday May 2nd. That’s just like Vegas to schedule 2 release events that compete with each other, this way the 25 magic players in town get split between 2 places on the same day…wonderful. There is gameworld which used to give alright prizes, but now the owner is an idiot who keeps letting his business license expire and has to pay late fees. That and his girlfriend helps run the place and lets her kid run wild in the store, this eventually makes the owner cuss and yell at the little guy. Gameworld also doesn’t put a high priority on fixing things like air conditioners, and in Las Vegas this device is much needed. The other place is Little Shop of Magic, I knew this place when is was under a different name and different management and thought it was ok. So my choice was made I’ll take the unknown owner over the white trash guy owner. I called my friends and one by one they all said that they had better things to do on Friday night then playing a sealed event, this made me not want to go as I would get roped in to conversations with people I don’t really know. On to the tournament. 

 

I arrived at the place at 5:40 and it was packed, I never knew there were this many magic players in Vegas. I spotted Chris Hagashi, I went to KL with him for the Pro Tour, and I spotted David Glasser. I work with David Glasser so I have more of a connection to him then the other random kids at the tournament, but other then that we aren’t much alike. He has kids, a wife, long hair, and is about 40. I don’t have kids or a wife and even though I’m young I cut my hair. David is fine to talk to in short bursts but after a while we run out of topics and he starts to tell me about his wacky decks. So I go over to Chis and talk a bit to him, after a bit of chit chat I go to register, I am number 40 and only first 32 get the foil card that they are handing out. After I sign up David catches up with me and he tells me about some enchantment deck, this is bad only 5 minutes in and hes already giving me the deck lists. I go back to Chris and he informs me that this shop owner is a really uptight, and I should watch myself around him. I look up at the front desk and see 2 girls running it, these two were beauties. The first one was blonde and wearing short shorts, which would have been really nice if her legs didn’t look like 2 pounds of lumpy oatmeal stuffed in to a 1 pound bag. She also had a really really lazy eye, I’m sure this eye was collecting welfare it was so lazy. The other girl was your typical overweight nerd girl, not much else to say. Even though I just ripped them a bit on their looks, which is funny if you know what I look like, they were nice and helpful not bitches at all so at least they had that going for them. Now the owner makes his announcement that deck registration is about to begin and everyone needs to get out. Is this a joke? No sir, he wants everyone out and then people will come in 2 at a time and sit down. We are also not allowed to bring any other cards inside, leave your trade bait and casual decks in your cars, I’m looking at you ham hock. We are all outside now and he preaches about cheating and stuff, I ask about prizes and he says 1 pack per person. Yep, 48 packs for 48 players and nothing kicked in from the store. I ask for a prize breakdown and he says that he’ll work on it. There will be a cut to top 8 with no draft and then the top 8 will get the spoils. We all head in after a bit and now the registration is going to begin, but listen to how he wants it done. He wants us to alphabetise the cards by color and then pass them to the person we are sitting across from us, they will then write them all down and pass them back to us with the sheet. Now we will get to build the deck but not register the cards, so we are free to change them round to round. Seems like a lot of drama for 48 packs.

 

Here is the card pool I got.

 

Lands

1 Foil Mountain

1 Fire-Lit Thicket

1 Madblind Mountain

 

Artifacts

1 Gnarled Effigy

1 Scrapbasket

1 Trip Noose

3 Wingrattle Scarecrow

 

White

1 Barrenton Medic

1 Boon Reflection

1 Goldenglow Moth

1 Inquisitor’s Snare

1 Last Breath

1 Mistmeadow Skulk

1 Niveous Wisps

2 Safehold Sentry

1 Woeleecher

 

White/Blue

1 Curse of Chains

1 Mistmeadow Witch

1 Steel of the Godhead

1 Thistledown Duo

1 Zealous Guardian

 

Blue

1 Cursecatcher

1 Drowner Initiate

1 Flow of Ideas

1 Ghastly Discovery

1 Prismwake Merrow

 

Blue/Black

1 Fate Transfer

1 Gravelgill Axeshark

1 Helm of the Ghastlord

1 Inkfathom Infiltrator

1 Memory Sluice

1 Oona’s Gatewarden

1 Wanderbrine Rootcutters

 

Black

1 Faerie Macabre

1 Incremental Blight

2 Loch Korrigan

1 Rite of Consumption

2 Splitting Headache

 

Black/Red

1 Poison the Well

1 Sootstoke Kindler

2 Sootwalkers

1 Spiteflame Witch

1 Torrent of Souls

 

Red

1 Burn Trail

1 Crimson Wisps

1 Ember Gale

1 Inescapable Brute

1 Jaws of Stone

1 Knollspine Dragon

1 Power of Fire

2 Puncture Bolt

1 Pyre Charger

 

Red/Green

1 Loamdragger Giant

1 Scuzzback Scrapper

1 Tattermunge Witch

 

Green

1 Farhaven Elf

1 Foxfire Oak

1 Juvenile Gloomwidow

2 Roughshod Mentor

 

Green/White

3 Old Ghastbark

1 Oracle of Nectars

2 Safehold Duo

1 Safewright Quest

1 Wilt-Leaf Liege

 

Here is my deck.

1 Inquisitor’s Snare

1 Last Breath

1 Mistmeadow Skulk

2 Safehold Sentry

1 Farhaven Elf

2 Roughshod Mentor

3 Old Ghastbark

1 Oracle of Nectars

2 Safehold Duo

1 Safewright Quest

1 Wilt-Leaf Liege

1 Curse of Chains

1 Burn Trail

2 Puncture Bolt

1 Gnarled Effigy

1 Scrapbasket

1 Trip Noose

2 Mountains

1 Fire-Lit Thicket

8 Plains

6 Forests

 

Round 1: Random Dude

After the first 2 turns it quickly became apparent that this guy just started playing. He was playing all the one casting cost 1/1s he could, but didn’t really attack with them. He cast the 5/5 that puts -1/-1 counters on non black guys and he tried to kill his black hybrid guys, I reminded him that they don’t die, I also let him go back a few times because he was a retard. I Lost the first game, lame. The next game he cast splitting headache and I discarded the 4/4 lord and put him in to play and crushed him. The third game I bashed him with Gnarled Effigy as all his creatures died to it. Oh and by the way that card was the 23rd card, DING!

1-0

 

Round 2: Another Random Dude

He, like my last opponent, was mentally retarded. He missed attacks and just played bad. I had gained 30 life and he did knock me down to 18; so he was visibly upset that I beat him. “Without that card I would have won,” he said, “well no shit,” I said. The next game Gnarled Effigy came out again and dominated.  

2-0

 

Round 3: Some Guy Who Knew Me But I Didn’t Know

The first game I get the gain life guy out and start to machine the life up, but I don’t have a win on the board. He keeps casting big guys and then this one turn he concedes. I don’t know if he was running out of paper keeping track of my life or what but I’ll take it. The next game he starts to bash me then I put the defenses up, then he drops the G/W shield and brings it in the air. I have out Gnarled Effigy but this is going to take some time. 2 turns later he draws and looks at his friend, and the friend says wow I cant believe you drew that, he repies yeah I didn’t even know that was still in my deck I thought I cut it. He casts the enchantment that makes a dude fly and gives it +1/+1 for each plains, but he casts it on the shield guy, you know the one that already flys. In response I add a counter with Gnarled Effigy and last breath it out of the game. A few turns later I win cause he drew like 12 land. His friend says after why didn’t you enchant the 3/6 that pumps his attack, hes like i thought indestructible guy would be cooler. How did that work out for you?

3-0

 

Round 4: David Glasser

There are only 6 people that are 3-0 we all drew in to the top 8. We played for fun and I crushed him.

 3-0-1

At this point I ask the store owner what the prize break down is, he says that he hasn’t done it yet. Nice, I guess 4 rounds of swiss wasn’t enough time.

 

Quarters: Spanish Guy Who Loves To Attack

This guy is relativity new to Vegas and not too bad if he would take time to block once in a while. I swear this guy taps his creatures every turn, even if he loses more guys he still attacks. The first game he lives up to his name and brings it, a few turns later he attacks with a 2/2 and I block with an 0/3 and then attack him back with 2 1/1 tokens. We end up trading removal back and forth but I sneak it in with the Gnarled Effigy. The next game isn’t as close because he cant remove the 4/4 lord.

4-0-1

 

Semis: David Glasser

He starts to moan and complain about playing me, you know coworker vs coworker. The first game he thought was amazingly close as he is one point away from killing me with Rite of Consumption. I showed him the last breath that I could have used on my own guy to gain 4 to stop those silly thoughts. The next game was a complete blow out, with the play of the game being me killing a tapped untap elf and attacking for the win (he thinks I wouldn’t notice that). BAH!

5-0-1

 

Finals: John Dwyer

John is an old school player that stopped for a couple of years but came back. His first sentence to me is, can I finally beat you, my response, no. John is playing black red, seems like everyone but me was, and my big dudes just outclassed his widdle guys game one. The next game he casts that 3/2 disrupting scepter guy. I didn’t really know what this guy did, I had read something about this guy that he cant trade for a creature and a card in hand so I went with those thoughts. The next turn when he doesn’t attack and instead taps him I am like what ohhhhhhhh. I discard a removal spell, next turn same thing he taps and I discard a removal spell. Now the 3rd time I discard the 4/4 lord and serve it up. If I took the time to read the card and not play like a mental patient I could have killed it and kept all my removal, instead I kept casting beaters and attacking but losing removal. He kills the lord and I think I might be in trouble, but of course those who know me know that I top deck burn to win when I’ve messed up. For some reason he attacks with his guys, I untap, draw burn trail, attack with my one guy, and burn him out.

6-0-1

 

I win a grand total of 16 packs. I win a 48 person sealed deck tournament and I get 16 packs. Yeah I left knowing I won but feeling I lost in the quarters with those prizes. If you want to waste 6 hours, watch trolls at the front desk, talk to annoying little kids, smash tard faces, and then feel like shit for winning and only getting 16 packs go to Little Shop of Magic! I did!

 

Rob Swarowski

 

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5 Responses

  1. A FUCKING MASTERPIECE.

  2. Litigant says : I absolutely agree with this !

  3. wow, simply wow. I’m so glad Page told me about this site.

  4. who lets this guy right reports? what kind of name is cdm? and who is the fat guy on the left drooling over cake?? jeezzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

  5. I follow your posts for quite a long time and must tell you that your posts always prove to be of a high value and quality for readers.

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